Dorm Disasters

What happens in the res-halls…ends up in Ethos

By Sydney McLaughlin

 *Names have been changed

From community bathrooms to late-night conversations with roommates, dorm living can be fun and full of unforgettable experiences. But sometimes, there are memories that would be easier to just…well, erase. Completely. Whether you’re a Community Adviser (CA) or just a resident trying to get by in the dorms, there is always a horror story to be told.

Take it Queasy   

“A couple of my friends and I were getting ready together and pregaming in the dorms my freshman year. One of my friends had recently had a rough weekend from drinking too much Malibu, but wanted to finish her bottle. We started taking shots and dancing, and all of a sudden my friend covered her mouth and said she was going to throw up. I grabbed my keys to our community bathroom, which was conveniently right across the hall from my room. She went in and came out the next second, saying everything was fine so we started drinking again. I told her to take one more shot, which I soon learned was a bad idea. Immediately after she downed the vodka, she opened the door of my room and yakked right in front of the bathroom door! I had to quickly clean it up, before anyone saw what happened. The hallway smelled like puke for the next week, and I still give my friend crap about it to this day. She doesn’t drink Malibu anymore.”

-Amanda*, Sophomore

Baring it All

“My roommate had his girlfriend over one weekend, so I didn’t want to change in the room because I felt that would make all of us a little uncomfortable, so I headed for the bathroom to change my clothes. When I walked in, I didn’t hear anyone so I figured I was good. As soon as I was disrobed, there just so happened to be a female visitor in the bathroom. She saw everything.”

-Jordan, Sophomore 

Possessed Roommate

“My roommate freshman year was kind of strange and believed in paranormal stuff. She was convinced there was a ghost in our room, and one night she totally convinced me that she was possessed by some kind of paranormal entity. We were both laying in our lofted beds getting ready to go to sleep when all of a sudden she sat up and started screaming things like, “Stop touching me!” I sat up worried, and I started getting out of my bed, when she began yelling, “Don’t come any closer!” I was super scared so I ran and got a friend that lived on my floor. When we got back to the room, my roommate was just looking around the room with her eyes wide open. Then, she started staring at me with these evil eyes and I started crying because I was so freaked out. I asked her about it later and she said she doesn’t remember anything about it.”

Jessica*, Sophomore

Bloody and Belligerent  

“I had a resident come into my room who was definitely intoxicated the weekend of the Iowa vs Iowa State game. He asked me to help him get his earring in and at first I told him no, but he started freaking out and saying he couldn’t return to a party unless his earring was in so I decided to help him. I was trying to push the earring in for about 15 minutes, but it wouldn’t go in so I asked him when he got it pierced. He said he had just gotten it pierced an hour ago. The hole was almost totally closed and the person who did it had pierced it crooked so it was nearly impossible to get back it back in his ear. I told him I couldn’t do it, but he persisted so I gave in and counted to three and pushed the earring in as hard as I could. I heard a loud pop and it was in, but the ear immediately began gushing blood. It was all over him and my carpet before I could reach some paper towels. I had no idea that much blood could come out of one ear. I spent the next 20 minutes yelling at him to apply pressure while I continued handing him paper towels. As soon as it stopped bleeding, he went off to his precious party and there was blood all over my room. I’m pretty sure his ear was infected like crazy too. The next week I worried that I would get fired for piercing a drunk guy’s ear in my room.”

-Molly, Community Adviser 

Caution: CA on Tinder

“During my freshman year, I lived in the dorms and there was a super hot CA that lived four floors below me. All of my friends and I were crushing on him; so when I saw him on Tinder, there was no doubt in my mind that I needed to swipe right. We would message a few times now and then and he would ask me to come to the bars, but he acted like he had no idea who I was in person. It was especially weird when I would have to pick up a package and he was working in the mail room. I’ll be more cautious the next time I swipe right.”

Danielle*, Sophomore

Get Smashed

“A bunch of my friends and I were all getting really drunk in the dorms my freshman year before we decided to go out to a party. Right when we were about to get on the elevator, my roommate and another friend of my mine grabbed two chairs from the den on my floor. They took them on the elevator and wanted to smash them outside on the ground floor of Willow. Everyone in the group was really drunk and just watching it happen, when all of a sudden a CA came down and yelled at them to stop. We all just started walking away, not knowing that she had already called the cops on us. When we started to cross Beach, we saw the cop pulling up so we all decided to take off running. All of a sudden, there were three cops chasing us and I ran into Linden to hide out in one of my friend’s rooms, but it was locked. One of my friends had followed me in and had gotten tackled by the cop, but I ran into a random person’s dorm room and told them what was going on. It was too late.  Little did I know, the cop saw which room I went into so he started questioning me and I was breathalyzed and taken to jail. Luckily it was all on camera and I got two of the charges dropped.”

Chris*, Junior